Exit Stage Left: Negative Opinions & Thoughts

May 26, 2024 @ 9:07am

It is Sunday, one week before my baby’s birthday. She will be SIX years old. As a woman, who was told I would NEVER be able to carry and give birth to a child, I reflect on her life as my child and my life as her mother. Only a few will understand what it is like, as a woman, to have a child NO ONE thought could ever be. I was told, got 3 different “opinions,” that I was a woman who would never be able to have a child. Why? Because I had hereditary High Blood Pressure…which means losing weight, changing one’s diet would not get rid of the High Blood Pressure…it was time for meds. It took a couple tries before finding the right meds to bring my pressure down, but the combo was found and I had a healthy pressure for years and years. What NO ONE ever told me was that once the Blood Pressure was healthy, my probability of conceiving would go up exponentially. And that was EXACTLY what happened. At 41, on November 10, 2017, I found out I was pregnant. On November 16th, the pregnancy was confirmed. On June 2, 2018 at 2:37am, Hannah Pearl was born. I cried when she was born because I instantly knew I loved her more than ANYTHING, ANYONE. Almost 6 years later, I feel like my love has grown even deeper, for her,  and I didn’t know it was even possible. By being her mother, I feel I can do all things. I was told a baby would not be a part of my future, my life. I told myself that it wasn’t time to do this writing thing, my stuff may not be good enough. I gave myself, at least 3, negative opinions about pursuing my dream, my purpose. And just like 3 opinions about me having a child were WRONG, so was I about pursuing my purpose as a Writer. And now, here I stand…a MOTHER, a WIFE, and a PUBLISHED WRITER! Three roles that I really started to believe would NEVER be ones for me. Newer roles are on the horizon, it's felt deeply and my belief in myself and faith in MY higher power has it all coming in just a matter of time.